brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
