i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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