I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just google imaged poop.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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