I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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