i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
