I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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