i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
