ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
nutella sex= disaster
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
