So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
