Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
