Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
