May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
