Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
