So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
