On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So vagazzling was a success
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize