2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
