3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
