If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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