do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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