also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
