So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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