He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
