she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
