Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize