PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
