Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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