apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
