Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
