oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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