I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
