I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
