the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I need a beard to bite.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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