the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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