It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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