they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
