the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize