remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
