He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize