Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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