Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
