Is it because I queefed?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
