Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize