I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
