is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize