I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize