You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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