That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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