my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
