Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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