at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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