4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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