I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
