Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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