I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
