I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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