we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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