when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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