I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
