Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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