I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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